Sweet Dreams
by Equif
Summary: Giotto gets bored in the realm of Afterlife, and he decides to mess around with a certain Vongola Decimo's dream...CRACKFIC.
1. Chapter 1

Sweet Dreams

Summary: Giotto gets too bored in heaven, and he decides to mess with a certain Vongola X's dream...CRACK FIC

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. All rights go to the manga-ka who created this, and with also some references from other fics on this . I only own the plot. XD

**WARNING: **Obvious signs of Shounen-ai, slight harmless bashing of most of the KHR characters, some OOCness (Generally from Mukuro). Product of silliness and sugar intake.

Giotto was bored, very bored. Decades of peaceful tranquility and very few things to entertain himself was starting to irritate him just a little.

_Riccardo is mad at me right now, and the rest of the Vongola successors are gone somewhere...what should I do next? _He mused as he surveyed the surroundings, which was pretty much made up of swirling white fog, a couple of furniture and an occasional odd looking object that looked suspiciously like Sephiroth-eh, Lucifier.

Giotto had exhausted every idea he could think of, and it included testing his abilities on how far he could drive his predecessors insane, which sadly almost worked if he didn't fall asleep during the critical moment.

...No, Giotto was too mature to start doing those things and he does not suffer from narcolepsy. You'd better believe it.

As if on cue, a sudden dying will-I mean, idea struck him. What about the young (future)10th Vongola who looked uncannily like him? At the thought of how his poor-no, cute little plausible descendant's mind was about to get his dreams _messed_ around by his possible Great-great-great-great-great-great-god-knows-how-many-great Grandfather, he couldn't help but let out a little snicker.

Sawada Tsunayoshi was going to have the most mentally disturbing and scarring-um, **best** dream of his whole teenage (Vongola Boss's) life, ever.

--

On Earth, a certain 10th Vongola-to-be sneezed.

"Someone's talking about me again..." he muttered under his breath before giving a huge yawn. Reborn was already(presumbly) asleep. _Ah, to the heck with it, _he shrugged it off. Switching off the lights, Tsuna clambered onto his bed and gave a sigh as he sank into the warm and soft nest and drifted off to the land of dreams.

Unbeknownst to him, Tsuna was about to go through a life changing experience that would alter his mindset on the Bongola-I mean, Vongola Familiga Guardians.

--

_Narration by Giotto in italics_

_Once upon a time in Nanmori Town, there lived a family called the Vongola Familiga. _

"Tsuna-kuunnnnnnnnn Wakey Wakey!"

Tsuna let out a reluctant groan as he turned over to the side, tightening his hold on the blanket and burying himself deeper into the warm recesses of the bed. He didn't want to wake up at all.

"A couple of more mintues Mom...Lemme seeb," his muffled voice floated out, barely audible. Tsuna wanted to enjoy his last precious minutes in this safe little haven before he goes through his day with oh, the usual, occasional bouts of dynamite explosions from his very royal self-proclaimed "right-hand man", going through some wacky assed "because-you-are-going-to-be-the-10th-Vongola-therefore-I-must-give-you-hell" training from a certain cute, but deadly home tutor, deal with a 'carnivore' who goes "I will bite you to death" and fights/beat up people everytime he sees crowds, disorder in his beloved Nanmori High or anything that irks him, oh, and an occasional creepy illusionist who had an...unhealthy obssession with Tsuna. Oh yes, he treasured his sleep very much indeed.

"Tsu-chan Stop dreaming my cute little wife...don't make me come over and wake you up...kufufufu..."

_Firstly, there was Sawada Tsunayoshi, the head of the Vongola household, aka the cute little wife. _

This time, Sawada Tsunayoshi immediately opened his eyes and shot up straight like a rocket and whipped his head around so fast that he almost wringed his neck. Almost.

"Mu-Mu-Mu-Mu-Mukuro..? W-w-w-w-Why are you in my _room?_" he managed squeaked out, backing against the wall. His instincts were screaming "Danger! Danger! Get your ass out of here like NAO plskthnxbai" The strange thing was, his Vongola supersense wasn't sending any warnings, but that wasn't important anyway. His gut feelings, obviously, mattered now.

A seemingly freaky smile (in Tsuna's opinion) graced the said pineapple head illusionist as he walked over to the now twitchy Vongola Decimo until their noses were almost touching.

_Tsuna was happily married to Rokudo Mukuro, although there were some violent objections a certain Storm Guardian, the both of them-scratch that, Mukuro insisted that everything was fine and love was unconditional, and so wedding was held without any major or minor hiccups. _

_"TOO NEAR! TOO NEAR! KISSING ZONE ALERT!"_ Tsuna's mind whirled in panic as he darted his eyes to the sides, trying to look for an escape route and also attempting vehemently to avoid the pair of those mesmerising and hypnotic eyes. However, it was futile. Mukuro let out a soft chuckle as he gently cupped Tsuna's chin (Whereby he "EEEP!" at that), his red-blue eyes boring into those of Tsuna's honey brown ones. The young Vongola Boss was almost too afraid to hazard a guess as to what kind of feelings were swirling in those eyes of the pineapple king-eh, the Mist Guardian.

"Tsuna..."began Mukuro softly, his hot breath condensing on the face of the said young teenager, who was already freaking out and reddening rapidly due to Mukuro's actions. "Calm down and listen to me."

He did.

"Good. Now my darling Tuna (Tsuna cringed. "_Darling Tuna?!"_ "_Yes, darling Tuna"_), this is not **your** room. It's **our **room. We're happily married. I am your husband, and you are my precious wife. Today it's my turn to prepare breakfast for the kids and you, and from your reactions just now, you do look like you are under a great deal of stress, so please relax today and leave all the chores to me while you take a day off and destress, alright?"

A short silence followed before Tsuna nodded dumbly.

"That's my cute little Tsu-chan," Mukuro said affectionately, ruffling the Vongola Decimo's hair before placing a tender kiss on his forehead.

"I will call you once breakfast is done so you can have a bit of a lie-in."With that, the now somewhat OOC Mukuro walked out, humming a sadistic little tune.

As soon as the door closed with a 'snap!', Tsuna sank down onto the bedsheets while his mind tried to process what Mukuro had said.

He was married to Mukuro.

Mukuro married him.

He was Mukuro's wife.

Mukuro was his husband.

They were**_ lovers_**_._

They had_**kids**._

"Oh_ holy** fuck**_," he managed to blurt out weakly before proceeding to faint in shock, awe and oh I don't know, denial?

This time, you're not dreaming. Not only Tsuna did say the evil fuck word, he made it holy too.

--

Somewhere up in the realms of Afterlife, a certain Giotto was whooping in evil laughter, nevermind the fact that he was doing something OOC. Vongola IV who had decided to make an appearance to check out on their 'head honcho', noticed Giotto laughing manically at the image of the new Vongola Decimo,who had apparently, became Giotto's new entertainment. _Oh well, at least it isn't me, _he thought, twitching in irritation at the past events invovling Giotto making fun of his weapon (sensitive spot)--the fork namely. He quickly quickened his pace and hurried away into the fog before the founder could see him. There was no way he was going to let Giotto poke fun as his beloved dining utensil-eh, dying will fork.

--

A/N: OMGWTFBBQ have I done?! OO Okay, this story is going to be split into 4 parts, yeah, so do please R&R, people!


	2. Chapter 2

Latte: -Squee- I have reviews! Thank you! XD Although there were eh, some mistakes in spelling wise because I got tangled up with the keys and a couple of grammar mistakes here and there..anyway. -Coughs- Here's Chapter 2, so enjoy!

**Warning**: General OCCness (Mukuro and Giotto namely), utter crack, plausible plot point or no plot at all, slight bashing (or maybe not) of the KHR characters, Giotto lying in narration, FFVII: AC references, overused cliche situations, Crack Shounen-ai pairings, Giotto's overactive imagination and 'wunnerful' creativity, slight internetz speak, general insanity,choppy-ish flow of sentences, Giotto (shamless) self insertion for crack purposes.

Italics in ( _HahahahaIpwnj00_) is Giotto's narration.

Disclaimer: Do not own. If I did, well, let's just say that I will kill everybody mindset of the characters...-coughs-

--

_(-So, where were we? Ah, yes. My cute little (plausible) descendant, apparently suffering from an overload of his dearest husband being topless-_ ("You liar!")_zip it, possible descendant and let me continue!-anyway, Tsunayoshi fainted because the image was too awesome, but miraculously wakes up within 10 minutes of fainting due to his Vongola hyoer intuition-("It doesn't work that way!")-shush, or else I will turn you into a Tuna sushi!-and hence decides to venture down to have his breakfast with his happy family, and thus this was how Tsuna learnt a few of a Vongola Boss life's most important lessons.) _

This was all way too **surreal**.

As much as he could remember, his mornings were always normal in the sort of 'above-average-but-not-too-strange' way ever since Reborn arrived at the Sawada household. His Mum would serve up a tray of delicious breakfast and a cup of hot coffee for Reborn, and also breakfast for the two 5 year old kids, one armed with extreme myopia and superb martial art killing skills (I-pin), the other armed with a TYL! bazooka from the courtesy of his family, occasional bouts of mischief, crying and the stupidity of a kid who didn't go to school for education but was instead, trained and sent over to Japan to assassinate Reborn (which he failed again and again, but hey, never give up!), so it was a normal morning, yes siree.

However, at this time of the moment, today was anything but a normal day. Tsuna could almost feel his retinas and photoreceptor cells burning their (smarmy little) PG-rated pants off when he saw what was probably the most disturbing scene in the whole of his 14 years.

Rokudo Mukuro had decided to go topless(Tsuna thanked the Gods that the pineapple head was still **sane** enough to not go pant-less) with a pink apron and was now currently flipping pancakes while humming some random background music that sounded suspiciously like "One-Winged Angel".

...wait, what? His mind did a double check again. _Mukuro in pink apron flipping pancakes in the kitchen. _**Mukuro in PINK APRON FLIPPING PANCAKES IN THE KITCHEN?! **

Does not compute above image. BEEP.

"Germino!!" went his brain.

"I NEED A TECHNICIAN! NOW!" went his hyper intuition.

"?!" went our main character, slumping down onto his knees, going all swirly eyed.

Mukuro being Mukuro, gave his signature laugh before striding over and sweeping up his dizzy 'wife' in bridal style and placed him ever so gently onto the chair, and returned back to his pancake flipping, chuckling in sadistic delight.

He really needed to go au naturel and dance the Samba with Tsuna in their bedroom one day. Privately.

Afterall, Mukuro did indeed, had **THE** body physique to flaunt, doesn't he?

--

The world had finally gone insane, Tsuna decided, as soon as he regained his senses.

While Mukuro was washing up, the Vongola Decimo had sometime to mull over certain urgent matters, like why the hell was Mukuro topless and flipping those pancakes and washing up the dishes, when did he gave up his love for Kyoko and married Mukuro but more importantly, when and how did the both of them had kids?!

_Ask your husband! Ask your husband!_

Tsuna narrowed his eyes at the familiarity of the voice.

**_Giotto-san? What are you doing in my head? Oh wait a minute...this is all your doing, isn't it? You're messing with my dreams!_**

_No, no I am not this "Giotto" person, I am your, uh, hyper intuition's conscience! _

Tsuna, for a moment, became good in one other thing. Something called being a lie detector. Or perhaps Giotto wasn't good at lying at all.

_**...I don't believe you.**_

_Humph, fine, go ahead and mock me, just you wait!  
_

"A kiss for your thoughts?"

Instantly, Tsuna pulled out from his conversation with that lying saint eyes-I mean, his hyper intuition's conscience and shook his head vigorously. That was one of the last things on his list that he wanted to happen.

"Kufufu...never mind. I will get what I want later...tonight," the illusionist added, a mischievous spark dancing in his eyes.

Tsuna paled and dived into his breakfast quickly. However he stopped halfway when Mukuro said the word that he had probably been dreading to hear.

"Breakfast is ready, kids!"

_Oh god, the kids!_ He had almost forgotten all about the kids. Tuna fish-eh, the young Vongola boss eyes darted over in the stairs where the sound of feet came from. However, the Tsuna could do nothing but stare when he saw the 'kids'.

This time, he was utterly convinced that the world had happily ended itself.

"HIBARI-SENPAI?! RYOHEI-SAN?!"

"...bwite you to dweath." The now turned little Hibari grounded out, glaring at Mukuro before moving over to Tsuna and clung onto his leg possessively.

"Mine, RAWR!" Hibari went, throwing it at the direction of the now slightly irate and amsued Mukuro. Tsuna could swear for a fleeting moment, he could see sparks flying off between them.

"EXTWEEEMMMMM BWEAKFWIST! TSU KAA-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!" went Ryohei, who came bounding in, all starry-eyed and punching his fist in the air.

_**TSU KAA-CHAN? THE HECK?  
**_

"Now, now kids, hurry up and go eat your breakfast. Don't bother your Mommy, come on now," ushered Mukuro, prying off Hibari from Tsuna's leg, holding both of Hibari's wrists. The Cloud Guardian snarled and kicked his legs wildly, looking as if he would like nothing better but to bite the pineapple head to death, however, since he was disarmed, he had to content with attempting to kick Mukuro in the face.

"...Hibari-senpai and Ryohei-san are our...kids?" Tsuna said slowly, each word leaving an uncomfortable taste in his mouth. This was definitely going in a direction that he didn't like at all.

Before Mukuro could answer, Tsuna question was (fortunately) answered by a voice behind him.

"The Cloud and the Sun Guardian were hit by...a malfunctioning laser. Gianni was repairing it when he accidentally hit the activation button. it seems that their body and personality were slightly...altered. So they will be staying together with you two until Gianni fixes the laser, which will be...somewhere later in the evening."

_I know that voice! _Tsuna thought as he looked up.

Standing at the doorway was Giotto, who had ditched his usual suit and cape for a summer version of the male's kimono. As much as Tsuna would like to deny, he was looking damn good for a person who was supposedly to be six feet under ground.

"Why are you here..? I thought you were supposed to be, well, _dead?" _said Tsuna, who was starting to go into his " irritated and-serious"mode (Stage 2). _And much more less irritating and more 'wow'! power when I first saw you, _he added mentally.

Giotto sent a mock hurt look at Tsuna, going all melodramatic.

"Oh, how you hurt me so, descendant! After all, I am standing right in front of you, alive and kicking (_"I don't care, you can disappear for all I care, just get me out of your twisted fantasies, for God's sake!"), _what does that tell you?"

Of course, as all stories go, a character had to intervene before any serious business happens (mind you, this story is crack, so too much seriousness is a no-go), and that lucky character would be, of course, our resident sadistic illusionist, Mukuro.

"Grandfather Giotto, would you like some breakfast?"

Tsuna choked on his saliva. Since when did Giotto became his **GRANDFATHER**? Since when did the sadistic illusionist been this respectful, especially when he hated the Vongola?! Logic didn't apply in this dream-I mean, story, really. Sadly, nor does twisted logic either.

Giotto noticed Tsuna's confusion (but missed his growing irritation) and launched an explanation.

" Yes, I Calling me Grandfather is easier this way. Unless you want to call me Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Smart-Suave-Handsome-Saintly-the-Grea-"

"I get it, I get it!" _Egoistic bastard, _growled Tsuna in his mind. He definitely preferred the Giotto in his Dying-Will mode-- less annoying, less egoistic and definitely more saint looking,powerful and better behaved. Tsuna had got to hand it to Giotto for the fact he really did know how to make good first (misleading) impressions.

"Glad to hear that, and yes of course, I would like some breakfast," replied Giotto warmly, taking a seat in between a very hyper and serious-I mean, EXTREME! Ryohei and a sulking Hibari, who was apparently none too pleased to eat what Mukuro had prepared. He was glaring at the food, as if hoping it would spontaneously combust under his fierce glare.

Tsuna was tempted to ask whether did Giotto went for Botox injections, but decided not to because it would make sense for Giotto to appear as young, dashing and saintly as he was the most powerful Vongola Boss out of all Bosses (Although Tsuna did quietly thought that he would surpass him very soon), so Giotto had to upkeep his eh, prime image. However, it was all theory. The more logical explanation was that Giotto was faked his death because he became a vampire and hence, explains his youthful image.

...wait, that didn't sound logical either.

Tsuna gave a sigh and went back to finishing up the food.

Well, at least the pancakes were good.

--

Sawada Tsunayoshi had never felt this drained after breakfast.

I mean, who wouldn't if they have to deal with two kids (Mukuro and Hibari) who were literally fighting for his affections-I MEAN, attention while trying to prevent the both of them from attempting to bite each other heads off, a very EXTREME! older brother of his love affection and lastly, Giotto not in Dying Flame mode.

"Tsuna."

The said person shot a tired look at his double. Tsuna really needed to get out of this house right now, preferably as far away from here as possible.

"I need you to go over to the Varia Household and borrow XANXUS' Rage Flame for tonight's BBQ party. Oh, and they are invited."

"...Come again?"

"I said, I need the Rage Flame from XANXUS to light the BBQ."

Normal lighter, anyone?

"That wouldn't do, now, off you go, or else I will tell Mukuro to..." Giotto bent down and whispered into Tsuna's ear.

The Vongola Decimo's eyes widened by a fraction and without any hesitation, he bolted off to carry his task.

Giotto smirked. Sawada Tsunayoshi, as Hibari Kyouya would probably put it in his terms, was a very "interesting herbivore whose life contained too much PG-rated situations."

(_So, my cute little-I mean, our brave Vongola Decimo sets off to next door to fufill his ancestor's strange request! Up next on chapter 3--Meet the Varia Household! Stay Tuned!)_

--

**A/N: **OH GOD. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HIBARI AND MUKURO'S CHARACTER SONGS ARE TOTALLY LOVE SONGS DEDICATED TO TSUNA. (Yes, 'm slow. XD)

Important note: Update will be slower than my current speed as I have to revise for my upcoming major exams.


End file.
